Sorry it’s been so long since I rapped at ya. I do, in fact, have a full-time job, I’m reticent to write about Idol since so many have stopped watching it (though I have infected not one, but TWO couples with the Idol bug this year), and it’s just easy to let things slide sometimes. But on Saturday this blog had its first-ever zero-hit day, and by gum, we’re gonna do something about it. I even have a post planned which will include the naughty, naughty cee-word… in its title. So stay tuned.
For today, I’ll bring you up to speed on Snoots. It took some time, but I think he’s gotten used to his new home here in Ledroit Park, in the shadows of Howard University. One of my roommates is typically home during the day, and he smokes, so Snoots hangs with him in the backyard a good deal of the day during cigarette breaks.
Orange Springs Farm is only ninety minutes away, so I’ve tried to treat him to as many trips down there as possible. Plus, I’ve spent a total of three weeks working out of town, and Snoots has stayed at friends who live five miles from the farm. So he’s had a good amount of rural snooting-around time.
Recently I discovered the fenced-in Shaw Dog Park, not far from my home. It’s pretty packed during the 6-7 p.m. hours, and Snoots has re-discovered his inner rapist there. Tonight, he was completely obsessed with a smaller, faster pit bull pup. The pup was running around and around, while Snooty padded toward her, constantly changing his angle of attack as she flew around. Whenever she stopped to chew a tennis ball or drink water, bam. Humping.
As the owner/parent of a registered sex offender, whenever I see this happen, I’m rooting for the rapee to turn around, get out of Snoots’ front-paws clasp, and either get in his face or take off. That prevents possible contretemps from arising with owners who take it personally when their dog is thusly emasculated. Unfortunately, this dog simply took it for 15-20 seconds before finally making its move (leaving Snoots to do his patented post-coital air-thrusting). The owner was kinda okay with it, kinda not okay, so I couldn’t completely bury myself in my book, and had to try to keep Snoots’ dick in his pants. That takes the fun out of it.
But two weeks ago… oh Nelly. I did NOT have a book, and was just watching Snoots go to town on this other dog, and no one seemed to care, so I was having a good laugh… until I had a great one. The owner of the rapee was standing right next to his dog and having a conversation with another dog owner. The two of them were completely oblivious to Snoots absolutely going to town on the guy’s dog, and all the while the dog was just taking it. Adding to the comedy was the fact that this dog was a little taller than Shithead, so he had to really exert himself. The scene was absolutely priceless: Two men and a dog, all of them tragically unaware of the pounding taking place not two feet away from them. I tried to get up and pull Snoots off of the dog, but I was laughing so fucking hard, and tears were streaming down my face, that I didn’t even try.
Fucking Snoots. Literally.